Can being a little Jealous Help?

Ever wonder why most ladies still remain in  abusive relationships? You see a young lady being physically abused by her partner, most times the reason being why she gave a very long hug to some guy or she wouldn't say who called her and why...

You would think, well, this is certainly it,  they are done, but to your surprise the very next day,  you see them holding hands in a shopping mall or a cafeteria some where and you can't help but wonder what kind of voodoo the guy must have used on the girl!

Ladies like that are crazy and don't have self worth or esteem,  they should know better than to remain in such relationship might be your response right now, but it's often said that it is he or in this case,  she that wears a shoe that knows where it hurts!

For some time now, I have listened, asked questions about this and most times I am always amazed! Some say they chose to remain because the guy aside occasionally laying hands on them, knows how to treat them right,  some talk about the sex,  some for some very confusing reason are just into "bad" guys!

Really this post today is not about abusive relationships,  rather a very  controversial topic "Jealousy"!

The question is; Is Jealousy Healthy in Relationship?

Now, it's well proven that most abuse in relationships usually begins with one partner being overly jealous!
It is also important to note here that the Jealousy we are talking about in this context is a healthy one and not the extreme kind!

Some of the persons we heard from who were once in abusive relationships were lucky to have gotten out alive, there are so many who weren't so lucky!
So Nobody should ever subject his/herself to any form of abuse, we don't support it and personally I think it's insane for any man to lay his hands on any woman!

That said, understand that there is a healthy Jealousy!  We have had cases where a partner thinks he/she is not truly loved because their partner hardly cares about what they do with their time or who they are with! Simply put, they are the not jealous types! 

First it was amazing to have some who trusted you that much to give you enough space to live your life but now it's becoming boring and making them feel he/she doesn't really care!

Now,  there  are truly people who can be zero jealous,  I am one of them but I have learn my lesson and I am now trying to work on myself now.

The good side to not being jealous is that at first your partner loves you for it and trusts you right back but after a while when you don't ask when you are supposed to, then some ideas begins to get into your partner's head!

Maybe he doesn't really love me like he/she said!
Oh,  maybe he is cheating on me,  he is getting it some where else so he couldn't care less what I do!
May be this, mat be that and you have got yourself some real issue! 

Mistrust comes in before you know it unnecessary arguments and if you still refuse to pay enough attention, counseling sessions comes in or a family meeting is called for you guys like it's normally done in my side of the world!

So don't you think, all this trouble can be avoided by being a little Jealous or in other words paying enough attention?
Now don't get me wrong,  I am not saying anything over the board,  you don't have to become physically or verbally abusive to show you are jealous!

A body language can do it, asking just a simple question when you see someone strange or something strange can do it, or even pretending to be angry like I now do most times can do the magic!

You see,  what happens in this moment is you without necessarily saying it, reaffirming your love and care for your spouse!

My brothers and cousins have come to my house many times,  they will pick some shoes and some shirts without informing me when I do finally notice, most times if it's the ones I don't use often or never really liked I don't call them to ask about it I just let it go!
But once or twice I have had them return a pair of shoes they took or a shirt just because I loved them,  I still very much use them!

It's the same thing in a relationship! If you think you are not the jealous type you might just be doing your relationship more harm than good!
Sure,  in the first few months or even years  if you are married,  it might be fun and very nice, but like you very much know, human needs can be very much insatiable! So I recommend, get jealous, not every time but once in while,  nothing extreme but in a safe and healthy way that will end up strengthening your relationship!

A problem someone might be having right now might be the issue of being in a relationship with some one with anger issues, how do I ask him without him flaring up about it,  well, dear, communication is a very important tool in making any relationship strong,  if you can't talk to your partner calmly without an outburst,  then sorry to break the news to you,  you are in an abusive relationship!

He/she might not be doing it physically, but verbally and even in trying to bully you! Get out while you can!

Beautiful conversation I had with two lovely ladies on this topic, I wanted it real and from their hearts so I didn't tell them I was recording it, you should give it a listen you would love it!


Thank you for stopping by,  please don't forget to share and leave a comment below!God bless your union!